is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
