Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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