Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
