Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Watching her eat just hurts me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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