I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
