Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
