WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize