Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
