in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
