So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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