I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Randomize