for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
