she was so not down for the gang bang
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
