I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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