weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Semen is not good for contacts.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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