My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
