Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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