worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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