i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize