Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there's paper in my vomit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
