we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
