Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
