So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Randomize
