did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
