If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
