Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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