Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
