His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize