Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Someone signed my nipple.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
