is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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