I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize