it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
