Yo dont text me then not text me
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
