Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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