Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
