Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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