Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize