i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
