He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You took a bar mat shot.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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