Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's just like the Real World with babies
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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