i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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