my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Reggie can tackle my bush.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
