Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
