my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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