We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
