wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
