Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
