I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
