Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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