The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
