I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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