why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
