i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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