Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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