White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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