i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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