It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
