69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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