She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
