do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
