Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
