do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
