I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
BRING THE BAGELS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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