the condom got lost in my hair
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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