I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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